The Monkey Mafia

This post is a recount of an incident with me which happened recently. No animals have been hurt in recalling this episode of my life. However, the animals have been re-christened.

This recollection revolves around my encounter with two members of the monkey mafia.

Monkey#1 - Little Bum
Monkey#2 - Big Bum
Monkey#3 a.k.a Me - Dumb bum

P.S - This is NOT a children's story. I am not responsible for any nightmares your child has, IF you do read this story to him/her/them.

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It was just another one of those hot days in Delhi. No respite from the heat for us Delhi-wallas. The only respite being brought by the street bunta walla & Ice-Cream man and of course a whole lot of Beer at Blues! The summer months in Delhi can be quite a pain. It's like Mother Nature or the weather Goddess are going through some menopausal time or are PMS'ing (depends on the day & weather to be honest) and well wrath all around resulting in the Sun deciding to be extra ''nice'' to us. NOT. Well, you get the picture right?

Another day at work when all I really wanted was a nice day. No hot headedness. No snarling at people in office. Unfortunately, the Electricity Board decided to go gringo on us and the power supply in and around the office area was off for a good 2-3 hours. The invertor in office decided it wanted a day off as well and so Ta-Da! it conked off. Clearly, Murphy was having fun at our cost.

It was at this time..no actually while fanning myself with a sheet of A4 paper, I decided to go get myself some Ice-Cream. The area in which my office is usually has a lot of our ancestor's relatives - Monkeys. Or as I would like to call them, infected bum monkeys because they have these different shades of red rear ends.. anyway... Off I go to the ice-cream 'bhaiya' (yes! us delhi-ites make everybody a temporary brother) and make a choice.

There I was, as excited as a ballerina before her first recital. Hip Hopping my way back to office, enjoying every lick & suck of the ice-cream...I was confronted. A member of the monkey mafia decided to threaten me. All I could do was wait and watch. The entire journey reminded me of those old western country classics dad and me would watch. You know two rivals at opposite ends, hands all set to pull out the gun and shoot the other.
Yeah. Little Bum decided to distract me by blocking my way by threatening to jump over me. I decided to halt (trust me, you don't want to mess with an infected red bum member of the monkey mafia..no nuh nuh no no no)

As Little Bum decides to entertain me by imitating Tarzan moves, Big Bum decides to sneak up from behind and snatch my ice-cream. I was stunned. Initally because I don't really get to see too much team work and this entire scene was WOW! I was impressed.

Now for the mafiagiri, Little Bum was still busy entertaining me..a.k.a Dumb Bum, AND making noises which totally sounded like him laughing at me while thinking ''ha ha, what an ass this dumb bum is..'' What Little Bum did not realise is that while he was still doing his job of keeping me busy, Big Bum had finished off the ice cream.

For the ultimate part, I absolutely LOVED the way, Big Bum realised he could'nt eat the ice cream stick and with attitude flung the stick on Little Bum's head. More like a ''bwahahahah, Little Bum, you're so dumb, thanks for feeding me today'' and swung his infected red rear away. This. did not go too well with Little Bum who was furious about not getting his share of the deal. Me being a Dumb Bum decided to wait and watch.

Off goes Little Bum chasing Big Bum and WHACK! in his face! I was left there standing mouth wide open but my gaze fixed onto them as both 'em bums flung and whacked each other. Totally reminded me of a gang war. The rest was well...a bloody mess. I wanted to watch the fight, only resulting in boss calling out to me and telling me to stop monkeying around! <insert grunts & growls>

Reached the office, only to watch Little Bum swing from tree to tree with pride and hunger written all over his bloody face.